Friends and solitude

Friends and solitude are two words, which go together, holding hands. I have felt it many times in the past twenty-five years. In these years I had been with friends, all the time, but the loneliness came creeping in every time I closed my eyes and saw where I was.
Equations have changed in the past couple of years. After I stepped out of home to find my existence, to earn my livelihood, things changed. I lost the company of my good old friends; solitude crept in, but I made many new ones. Got in touch with people, for many of which, I, my existence, become important.
But things changed again. As my old friends lost me when I stepped in the new world of self-dependence, I lost the new ones I made when they moved on. Solitary again...
By now I have been so used to this solitary mood of mine that it comes knocking in every now and then. And then I am forced to close my eyes.
Honey, as I call my soulmate, is co-incidentally my best friend as well. I know she would not believe this, I wish she would. She always asks me why I am silent. I don’t know. This silence has never left me, and it comes with all the more vengeance each time it goes…
Any answers, anyone?